When love is not enough

Love mean sacrifice

will do everything possible

to make him better

to make him pleased

Love needs willingness

though it is painful

and even he doesn’t understand sacrifice you do

but you still do it anyway

 

Love means patience

when no body understands

but still keep trying to understand

 

Love is care

You’ll try to be in his shoes

and try to be there for him

 

But when everything has to be done

and it seemed still so far away

I’m in silence

waiting and thinking

what more to be done

when love is not enough?

2008.2008

Double match date…

Wow… A very special date…

Will be once of my life…

Mmmm… i wish that i could have it as my marriage date …

Hahahaaa…

That day is my birthday. And as the special date, then i wish my b’day would be special as well

Hence i wish, i pray and i wait…

However,

When the day came…

My room-mate woke me up for there was part of mouse’s part and the blood in front of my door

Hence i began that day with cleaning for its blood

Haha… what a day!

But not just stop on that bloody cleaning.

After i cleaned it, i found that my roommate’s 2 turtles, Bejo and Bertha had died, when i wanted to change the water.

O…o… i just began to questioning “is it really my day?”

My morning passed, and my good mood as well …

Friends called me, but weird for they just called to say those 2 words and thats it!

It’s disappointing. No one even try to give their time.

Anyway…

I just think that maybe it is God’s arrangement for me

Maybe let others did that, and let the special one would appear since it was a special date, will be once in life, at least at my life

But so sad, it was left as my wish as well.

Is it really not my day?

Fortunately, i have a good closing on that day

My room-mate bought me cakes, and celebrated with our friends

Also good friend of mine called me to give me her ear to listen my day

It is really comforting indeed

But honestly, that day really turns my feeling upside and down

and i think i made a decision which is so unfair and hurt to my beloved friend

…

I review my day …

And in my reflection, I think it is not about the date as i was thinking that “surely it is special date but not my day”

It is about my own fault, to have too high wishes and dreams in special date

That special date, 2008.2008 teaches me Not to hope on anything or anyone too high

Let just enjoy and cherish what we have as it is…

and the special one would come … as reward of our patience …

As the closing of my 2008.2008 …

Let me apologise for anyone who is hurt by me …

I am sorry …

…

Choose one!

When the truth has revealed

and it is different from the hope you have built

then let your heart be healed

and keep trying to be real

 

Live your life

or

drown in dreams

?

Wake Up!

When the fact is different from your dream

then …

Wake Up!!!

 

Bury down

In the confusion

I bury everything down

If this future is really be my own

Let God made it be known

so it won’t be  any frown

yet the crown

…

Wacana Cinta (2)

Jatuh Cinta

Dua kata yang luar biasa

Seluruh dunia membicarakannya

Merasakannya…

 

Tumbuh dalam Cinta

Ulasannya masuk logika

Tapi sekarang yang jadi pertanyaan di kepala saya

Apa bedanya dengan jaman Siti Nurbaya?

 

Ketika wacanamu datang

Dan dengan penantian engkau menantang

Kuterdiam dalam detak yang terus berdentang

 

Seperti banyak orang bilang

Jatuh cinta mungkin membingungkan

dan membuat dada berdebar kencang

Serasa mabuk kepayang

 

Namun demikian…

Tanpa jatuh cinta

Masihkah cinta mempunyai rasa?

Bukankah cinta yang punya rona yang membangkitkan selera?

Ataukah ini karena aku seorang wanita?

 

Tumbuh dalam cinta

perlu ketika rasa mulai tiada

Biarlah hati tetap merona

bahwa dalam cinta ku kan tetap setia

 

Akhir wacana

Biarlah kukecap rasa cinta

Kalau memang kukecap suatu rasa

Kan kubuka jalan ‘tuk tumbuh dalam cinta

Untuk wacana yang selanjutnya.

 

 

 

 

Wacana Cinta (1)

Banyak orang bilang  jatuh cinta itu indah

Dunia serasa milik berdua

Jangankan hujan, badaipun diterpa

Demi suatu tatap muka

 

Kata orang, jatuh cinta itu indah

Tiap hari selalu ingin bersama

Tak perduli sepiring berdua

Asal bisa terus bercanda ria

Memadu cinta…

sampai matipun serasa ingin bersama

 

Kata banyak orang

Cinta itu buta

Ketika engkau jatuh cinta

Bukan lagi apa yang bisa dilihat mata

tapi lebih banyak hati yang bicara

Bukan apa yang dipikir logika

Tapi lebih karena hati yang punya suatu ‘rasa’

 

Hari ini ada suatu wacana

Yang menentang tentang jatuh cinta

Dia bilang cinta memang indah

dan ia tak pernah salah

Masalahnya ialah

Engkau jatuh di dalamnya

 

Menjadi jatuh bukanlah hal yang sengaja

Dia lebih oleh karena kata salah dan tak waspada

Terjerembab dalam kepayang yang memabukkan

Menunggu hingga saat tersadarkan

 

Masih bertutur tentang cinta

Dia bilang daripada jatuh cinta

Bertumbuhlah dalam cinta

 

Bertumbuh adalah suatu hal yang lebih dewaa

Dia bukan cuma bicara soal rasa tapi juga logika

Bukan cuma menjadi buta tapi jalan bersama

Ketika engkau bertumbuh di dalamnya

Cinta kan menguat dengan makin mengenalnya

 

Kata si  wacana …

Anda mau pilih cara yang mana?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stateless

When I am in the state of doubt

Not understand what is going on

 

I am freeze

No steps I dare to take

Everything is so blured

And I’m afraid to miss the step one more time

Repeating my fault and fall in the past

 

At my state to be pure

I tried to make everything fairer and clearer

Yet it is not that simple

Misunderstanding getting deeper

 

Yet nothing I can do

Just speechless

 

Maybe Not Ready is the answer

Not just yours but also mine

 

Hence …

I’m just keeping the state of stateless

…

Like the wind

Dunno how it begin

I think that i’m drunk of gin

I’m trapped in his game

In my dreams he always came

 

Day by day I’m just waiting

For his simple greeting

 

Doubtng what has happened to my heart

Recalling what has happened at my past

Avoiding it will be a painful hurt

I simply say that let everything be at last

 

Maybe the chance already passed by

although I never meant to say a good bye

 

For now …

As the wind blows

And no one ever know

where it goes…

 

Let me be free

His shadow fall on me

I’m just trapped and could not be free

When he waited the answer of me

I just fall on my knee

The heart of mine already bound

No one could ever found

I try to make it sinking down

’til my heart and my mind has no more sound

Where is the hope that I’m waiting for?

Doesn’t he know that still for him my heart is longing for?

Just let me know that no need I’m waiting you for more

Then to the world I will go for another explore